July 18, 2014

The ending is nothing like you expect. Write to Done-Scene stealers

So, this is another one of my scene stealers , I had written for Write To Done.
And I got a very nice comment. So, hope you'll like this enough to comment too.

Here the setting is beach, and I've taken by favourite genre -urban fantasy too.
You can read the original in Write To done page; mine has a comment and a reply (both are gray ) and the username is Amala benny. Hope you check that out too, because the stories, which are a close to 50, that people come up with are amazing. Really !

So here is the story (the word limit is 350)

She settled herself in the shallow water and looked at him, waiting to be amazed.
He smiled leisurely at her.
“Quit stalling. And prove what you said was true” Arin said.
He didn’t say anything , just looked out into the sparkling ocean, it’s beauty ethereal under the night sky.
The water was enchanting that day, a sheet of sparkling blue just like their eyes. Actually, more like his. Hers was a mixture of blue and black.
Freak, her classmates called her.
“Mom will be home soon. I don’t want her finding me hanging around with a nutcase” she said.
“Do you want to have a swim” he asked.
She abruptly got up .
She loved the water almost as much as her mother hated it.
“No, I hate swimming and I am going home now” Arin said .
“Don’t lie to me Arin. You love swimming. Why else would you sneak away from your home every night” he stated plainly.
“Not every night” she sighed.
She loved swimming .But if her mother found out she was out swimming despite her many warnings and punishments, there would be hell to pay.
And this man was blackmailing her using just that.
“I won’t let your mother know, IF you let me show you something “he had said that as if he was going to pull a rabbit out of his pocket.
She had had no other choice and had agreed to it.
20 minutes later no magic and certainly no rabbit had come.
She prayed her mother was home later than usual
“Arin” he called.
She turned her face to him.
The next few seconds was a blur of the motion. She was deep in the ocean. He had pinned her hands from behind and now she was gasping for air under water.
She could hold her breath longer than most but panic was making her use up all the oxygen.
When she thought she was going to black out, she felt the cool rush of oxygen.
Holy hell she had just developed gills.

So, how was the ending ?

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