The ending is nothing like you expect. Write to Done-Scene stealers

So, this is another one of my scene stealers , I had written for Write To Done.
And I got a very nice comment. So, hope you'll like this enough to comment too.

Here the setting is beach, and I've taken by favourite genre -urban fantasy too.
You can read the original in Write To done page; mine has a comment and a reply (both are gray ) and the username is Amala benny. Hope you check that out too, because the stories, which are a close to 50, that people come up with are amazing. Really !

So here is the story (the word limit is 350)

She settled herself in the shallow water and looked at him, waiting to be amazed.
He smiled leisurely at her.
“Quit stalling. And prove what you said was true” Arin said.
He didn’t say anything , just looked out into the sparkling ocean, it’s beauty ethereal under the night sky.
The water was enchanting that day, a sheet of sparkling blue just like their eyes. Actually, more like his. Hers was a mixture of blue and black.
Freak, her classmates called her.
“Mom will be home soon. I don’t want her finding me hanging around with a nutcase” she said.
“Do you want to have a swim” he asked.
She abruptly got up .
She loved the water almost as much as her mother hated it.
“No, I hate swimming and I am going home now” Arin said .
“Don’t lie to me Arin. You love swimming. Why else would you sneak away from your home every night” he stated plainly.
“Not every night” she sighed.
She loved swimming .But if her mother found out she was out swimming despite her many warnings and punishments, there would be hell to pay.
And this man was blackmailing her using just that.
“I won’t let your mother know, IF you let me show you something “he had said that as if he was going to pull a rabbit out of his pocket.
She had had no other choice and had agreed to it.
20 minutes later no magic and certainly no rabbit had come.
She prayed her mother was home later than usual
“Arin” he called.
She turned her face to him.
The next few seconds was a blur of the motion. She was deep in the ocean. He had pinned her hands from behind and now she was gasping for air under water.
She could hold her breath longer than most but panic was making her use up all the oxygen.
When she thought she was going to black out, she felt the cool rush of oxygen.
Holy hell she had just developed gills.

So, how was the ending ?

 

Read the First four lines and then you can choose. Write to done- scene stealers.

If you are a regular in the amazing website Write To Done , then you surely must know of the scene stealers they put up each month. They are for aspiring writers or anyone with a creative bend to their minds.
I am one such person and this scene stealer was part of developing a voice for your protagonist.
Last week only I wrote but it seems that I am unable to submit it online (sigh).
Guess I am too late .
But no worries, you are there right.
Oh! and read the first four lines after which you can decide if you want to stick with me or not.
And do tell me your responses. Do you want to know what happens after that !

So here it is.



I looked at the question: Who would you be if you could be anyone at all?
I decided to answer it.

I want to be my fathers murderer. I wrote and handed the questionnaire back to rabbit teethed doctor.

He read through it but stopped when he saw my last answer.

“You are supposed to write your ambition ” he sighed “I know what you have gone through. But it’s been six months. You’ve got to let go of the past and go forward”.

Anger flared in me.

“Did your father murder your mother and his two daughters because he thought she was sleeping with his brother” I asked.

“No, but I understand what you have gone through. If only you’ll let me help you” he said softly in a voice that marked him as a therapist.

“Shut up and don’t pretend like you understand me” I said and lifted up my tee shirt.

“Oh! “He gasped.

Three bullet marks adorned my body, forming a horizontal line below my chest.

A gift from my father.

For the first time Dr.james saw my bullet wounds and understood the depth of my hate.

And now he was silent.

I hated silence .

In silence ,I saw my drunken father, waving his gun.

The terrifying silence before the bullet ripped away from his gun and entered the bodies of my mother and my two sisters and then finally me.

Never in my sixteen years had I hated a man so much. He was now the sole reason for my continued existence. The moment he steps out from the safety of the prison I was gonna finish him.

“Your aunt is here to pick you up”  Dr James said getting up from his seat.

Kelly my father’s sister-in-law came in and hugged me.

I wriggled out of her arms and stamped out towards the car.

Kelly  followed me slowly.

 Suddenly a strong hand gripped my shoulder spinning me back. A tall man looked down on me and whispered .

“I can help you get your revenge” with that he walked away leaving me gaping.

There is a 350 words limit but I am itching to write more.But I don't know if the story is moving in the right direction.

Do let me know. Won't you ?

And this is the link to scene stealers of write to done .There are so many amazing stories in there.I loved it.

Write to done - scene stealers.

P.s : what should I name this story ?

'Kill dad' (that's creepy !)

Review of At Grave's End by Jeaniene Frost (Book 3 of Night Huntress series)

This series is getting addicting.Despite the minor hiccups I'm still clinging on to the the series. I hate leaving any book half finished.

The kickass duo of half vampire cat and master vampire bones is back. They are stronger than ever and almost indestructible... almost.

The book takes off where the last one left off.
And there is the addition of two secondary characters.
I absolutely adore thoose characters.

Click to Buy

Some things won't stay buried . . . at grave's end

It should be the best time of half-vampire Cat Crawfield's life. With her undead lover Bones at her side, she's successfully protected mortals from the rogue undead. But though Cat's worn disguise after disguise to keep her true identity a secret from the brazen bloodsuckers, her cover's finally been blown, placing her in terrible danger.
As if that wasn't enough, a woman from Bones's past is determined to bury him once and for all. Caught in the crosshairs of a vengeful vamp, yet determined to help Bones stop a lethal magic from being unleashed, Cat's about to learn the true meaning of bad blood. And the tricks she's learned as a special agent won't help her. She will need to fully embrace her vampire instincts in order to save herself—and Bones—from a fate worse than the grave.

Jeaniene frost is a master of twists. And just like the last book here also we are blessed with twists.
Although I don't agree with one. Who said it is imperative to kill a secondary character to show the ruthlessness of the world ?.
But aside from that I don't have much complaints. I like the character development in the secondary characters like Mencheres and Vlad despite the hindered development of the primary characters.

As the final verdict i would say that it ia fast and easy read and you'll like it if you are a fan of vampire romances.
RATING : 3.5/5

Review of One Foot In The Grave by Jeaniene Frost (Book 2 of Night Huntress series)

I read this novel yesterday. It was a fast and  engaging read. My attention didn't waver at all.And I loved the unforeseen twists at the end.And in case you are new to this series.

Here is my review of the first book in this series.

Halfway To Grave- A night huntress novel.

Night huntress is a New adult paranormal romance.

And the protagonists are Cat and Bones(cool nicknames), who are vampire hunters.Cat is a Half-vampire (One of a kind case in their world) and bones is a master vampire, and a very strong one at that. Together they hunt on other vampires,ghouls, ghosts and whatnot.

Click to Buy

Here is a short summary. No spoilers!

You can run from the grave, but you can't hide . . .

Half-vampire Cat Crawfield is now Special Agent Cat Crawfield, working for the government to rid the world of the rogue undead. She's still using everything Bones, her sexy and dangerous ex, taught her, but when Cat is targeted for assassination, the only man who can help her is the vampire she left behind.

Being around him awakens all her emotions, from the adrenaline kick of slaying vamps side by side to the reckless passion that consumed them. But a price on her head—wanted: dead or half-alive—means her survival depends on teaming up with Bones. And no matter how hard she tries to keep things professional between them, she'll find that desire lasts forever . . . and that Bones won't let her get away again.

In this book the adventure and mystery angle is given more importance than the romance angle (which is fine with me).
There are four main twists in the story( one of them was rather predictable).The one liners and humour scenes have improved comparing with the last one. The secondary characters are also better developed, especially cat's boss.

Although there was one big (or small ) flaw.Bones is supposed to be pretty old vampire. But he doesn't sound so to me.Yes, he may have adapted to the modern times.But still the sudden change is a little uncomfortable.
But it doesn't take away the joy of the reading

So, my verdict is I'm gonna keep reading this series. The book is not a masterpiece but it doesn't bore me.

Then what should I rate it ?

RATING : 3.5/5

I've not given a four because I wanted more world building. But I rcommend this series.

I would love hear your thoughts on the series and the author. And if you have any books for a good rad. Please recommend below.

Bye. Love you.

Review of Halfway to Grave by Jeaniene Frost( Book 1 of Night huntress series)

This book 1 in the paranormal romance series , night huntress, by Jeaniene frost. I actually liked this book(I'm usually not a big fan of vampires) . One of the reasons for that was the nicknames of the main characters Cat and Bones. I love those names.

The premise is in Ohio which is populated by humans, vampires, Ghouls and whatnot.
And Cat and Bones i.e Catherine Crawfield and Bones( I can't say his name because it is part of a small twist, very small actually, in the story) are the dead and half-dead vampire hunters. A deadly duo, the book says.

The book was a fast and light read. It took me around five hours to finish it.
And before you decide to invest your five hours in this , let me give you the summary they have given and after that my review.

Half-vampire Catherine Crawfield is going after the undead with a vengeance, hoping that one of these deadbeats is her father—the one responsible for ruining her mother's life. Then she's captured by Bones, a vampire bounty hunter, and is forced into an unholy partnership.

In exchange for finding her father, Cat agrees to train with the sexy night stalker until her battle reflexes are as sharp as his fangs. She's amazed she doesn't end up as his dinner—are there actually goodvampires? Pretty soon Bones will have her convinced that being half-dead doesn't have to be all bad. But before she can enjoy her newfound status as kick-ass demon hunter, Cat and Bones are pursued by a group of killers. Now Cat will have to choose a side . . . and Bones is turning out to be as tempting as any man with a heartbeat.

Now Let's talk about Cat and Bones.

Cat is 22 But if the author hadn't explicitly said it , I would've pegged her for a 17 year old. She is a half-breed. Something considered almost impossible (remember renesmee from twilight). By morning she is a good little daughter and works to save for her college fund. Her education something she had pushed aside to take care of her family and their farm.She is a vampire hunter, not professional, but something she does encouraged by her mother. She sees her father, the one who ruined her mother's life, in every other vampire.
She kills them to avenge her mother and protect the countless other would-be victims.


But she is not a stone cold killer.Something I immensely like about her. And she is a believer and doesn't like the use of profane words. Her belief that every vampire is evil and should be killed takes a hit when bones come into the play.

Bones has the usual pale skin, rock solid abs and diamond-cream skin ( vampires!)..I actually liked bones better than cat ,because he is the emotional one in their relationship. I feel like bones has taken her as his true mate while she is just flirting around. Her emotions for him must've been showed more instead telling us .

Bones is different from other vampires because he is a bounty hunter and kills other vampires.He is charming and always starts a sentence with either a mate,Bloke or luv.

the world building is nothing extraordinary and the author isn't very big on details.
Ghouls are an extra addition to this world along with ghosts. The way ghosts has consume liquor is hilarious.
And ghouls are totally disgusting meat eaters, I mean man eaters. I got that from the prequel which starred only Bones.

 Her mother is an interesting and totally believable character. She is one courageous women, who despite all her misgivings brought up cat and gave her rock solid support whenever others tried to bury her down.
I love her mother.

I liked this book and will surely read the next one in series.

In the next one I hope their relationship is deepened and cat will finally have a strong kickass personality.
Because that was lacking in this one.But it was a fun, fast and light read.And the ending reminded me of Rylee Adamson novels.

RATING : 3.5/5

Click to Buy this Kick ass starter to this series

I hope you give this a try , even though it's lot like the other series, you'll worry about it only in retrospect, Because you would be too busy turning the pages in excitement to find out about the ending..

Don't forget to let me know about your thoughts.

Review of Magic Burns by Ilona andrews (Kate daniels series)

This was among the first of the longer series that I've read and yet now only I am writing the review.
Blame Exam tensions and my own dear laziness for that(the exams went well . Thank god for that).
                                           
                                      Anyway let's talk about katie, shall we.

                Kickass mercenary Kate is back in the second edition to the series Magic Burns.

                  Review of Book 1 of Kate Daniels series

This one is more polished than the previous one. The characters are well developed and world building is rather good.

The problem I had with the last book was it's ambiguous world building.But that world  was supposed to be that way.

But after reading the second edition, which gives concise and interesting explanations, I feel a whole lot better .You see, our human brains can't live without explanations.

I'll give you a rough idea of her world.If you have already read the first book.You can skip this part.

The world alternates between magic and technology.They come and go in waves , but are often adversaries each time.
                   When magic is up tech doesn't work.

That means No computer, No T.V and certainly No phones ( It's too horrible)

And vice-verse.

 That means Magic and Tech don't play nice with each other (they are such babies).

And Kate Daniels is a Mercenary, a person who 'deals' with the paranormal in return for payment, but is currently working as part of the order, where she was appointed to investigate the murder of her guardian Greg (that was the premise book 1).

The Police, the Mercenaries and the Order are the three law agencies, their importance increasing  in the same order as given.

Outside of this there are the pack- formed by shapeshifters and the people- formed by vampire controlling necromancer.
 (I love the originality of the cast. )

The vampires are nothing like you have seen or read.

   And the shapeshifter range from were-rats to were-lions  (cool).

And add to that mix all the Gods, Goddesses and the Demons who come alive if enough people believe in them (magic does that) and you have got a blockbuster of book with enough drama , darkness and humour to tranport us to her world.

That's a very short and unfnished summary of the world.Just to get you started.

But let's see what Book no.2 is about shall we.

As a mercenary who cleans up after magic gone wrong, Kate Daniels knows how waves of paranormal energy ebb and flow across Atlanta like a tide. But once every seven years, a flare comes, a time when magic runs rampant. When Kate sets out to retrieve a set of stolen maps for the Pack, Atlanta's paramilitary clan of shape shifters, she quickly realizes much more is at stake. The stolen maps are only the opening gambit in an epic tug of war between two gods hoping for rebirth, and if Kate can't stop the cataclysmic showdown, the city may not survive

This series get's impressive with each book. But the one thing that made me fall in love with Kate and Curran( the handsome alpha) was the slow and touching developement of their relationship. With each book their bond deepens and deepens and at the end ,makes us fall in love with them.

Kate still smartmouths, one of her flaws( although I don't agree on that ) and she still has a natural penchant for attracting trouble and then again overcoming it.

She is not invincible, and she has a soft heart (as seen with julie ), which is why I like her so much.

This is a very interesting series. One I recommend.

                                                                  CLICK TO BUY

         
           But first , if want an appetizer             instead of the whole dinner at once.

Try this, It's a free prequel to her first book.
                                                        Questionable Client

And it features Saiman (I love him).
He is one most interesting and at times hatable character in the entire series , right next to Roland.

           So, my final verdict is.

                                                                   RATING : 4/5

I'VE ALREADY READ THE REST OF THE BOOKS  THAT'S WHY IT'S NOT GETTING A 5.

So,tell me which are your favourite characters,  besides the obvious.  i would love to hear from you.

Review of Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews ( Book 1 of Kate Daniels series)

Magic Bites in a fantasy book that won't quite fall into the category of romance.It has got a a lot of gore and fights and takes place in an awesome world.

I love a good kickass heroine especially if she is a sword wielding one and has a good sense of humour.
And Kate Daniels fits the bill.She is very independent and fights the bad guys on her own.
That's the one thing I admire the most in her.She is no damsel in distress.

But before analyzing her character further let's hear what Ilona Andrews says about the magical city of Atlanta.

The world has suffered a magic apocalypse. We pushed the technological progress too far, and now magic returned with a vengeance. It comes in waves, without warning, and vanishes as suddenly as it appears. When magic is up, planes drop out of the sky, cars stall, electricity dies. When magic is down, guns work and spells fail.

It’s a volatile, screwed-up world. Magic feeds on technology, gnawing down on skyscrapers until most of them topple and fall, leaving only skeletal husks behind. Monsters prowl the ruined streets, werebears and werehyenas stalk their prey; and the Masters of the Dead, necromancers driven by their thirst of knowledge and wealth, pilot blood-crazed vampires with their minds.

In this world lives Kate Daniels. Kate likes her sword a little too much and has a hard time controlling her mouth. The magic in her blood makes her a target, and she spent most of her life hiding in plain sight.  But sometimes even trained killers make friends and fall in love, and when the universe tries to kick them in the face, they kick back.

Her world building is quite good but many people doesn't like it because it's not very rich in details ,like how exactly it came to be and how it can be predicted.

But,magic can't be predicted. If it can be then the abilities acquired by the people have to be explained in a whole different way. I love the secondary characters who are very likable and intriguing at the same time.

The main characters Curran, who himself is quite bad-ass and no less smart mouthed than Kate and Kate herself makes for a formidable pair.Kate is stupid sometimes but it's great flow and makes the character more real and Curran has got flaws of his own.

Like I said before it's not a paranormal romance book.The book contains vampires but are not the ones you will fantasize about.That I can guarantee.

The book in itself is a murder mystery which is solved in this book itself but we are provided an overarching plot line.

 I really hate the cover art.That's why even though many times I had thought buying it, I didn't.It was the sixth book's cover that had got me hooked.Otherwise I would've missed this wonderful series.

See the difference for yourself.

click to buy

Click to Buy

But there was one place this book definitely falls behind.It's in showing the emotional connection between the murdered person( who Kate considered as family) and Kate. It was a huge minus point for me.

And I reduced a point for that.

So, my rating is

RATING : 4/5

If you are looking to start a series .I recommend this because it get's better with each book.
Hey, why don't you check out this free prequel. It's one of the best out there.
Questionable client-prequel to Kate Daniels series.

Click on the covers to get to their amazon pages.

Hope you enjoy it.